in the seemingly never-ending story of over-eating, I tripped and fell hard today. dammit, it pisses me off so much that i just cant seem to get a hold of my emotional eating.  i got some tough news friday night and i was ok up until i got up to go to the bathroom at 12:30am....I remember crawling back into bed at around 1:05am, right after having an ungodly amount of honey nut cheerios, milk, and assorted chocloates. 

the eating cintinued all morning with pancakes and syrup, a couple of popsicles, various other crap that i didn't need...........

around 1:30pm i had the worst headache i've had in a long time - and i still have it. tylenol isn't helping at all.   i guess that could be attributed to a sugar overload....my intestinal tract has been in knots all day too.  all in all i just feel like crap. i feel like the shit i ate today - mindless and worthless.  grrrrr.

why do i do this to myself over, and over again?!  dammit all anyhow.

dangit, and i was so determinted on friday morning.  i know it's right back on the track and i need to do what i need to do. 

ok, i have to go to my gig...maybe a couple of drinks will help.  <sigh>

anyone have some words of encouragement?  lord know i need it.

thanks for listening - if anyone is out there.

love & stuff,

Dude, Hang in there, you have worked hard since we both tackled this biggest loser gig, everytime I see your updates and pics on the new website, i say DAM!! Keep up the work and Im always thinking of you!! Pleace love and SOUL!!!

Hi dear.

So... you tripped. While I agree it IS a setback, the good news is you know the over-eating comes when your emotions are running high. If you can get your mind around that (which I think you already have), it's going to be better to start to be able to get it under control. You know when you're emotional. You know that's when you're prone to stray from your regular eating routine. Even just knowing those couple of things are going to help you in the long run. So before you go to the kitchen, STOP, take a breath and count to 10 and ask yourself if it's really something you want to do because you KNOW how it's going to make you feel.

Easier said than done, right? Here's an idea - and this is something that I use to help me through certain hard situations in life. Print off this last blog of yours and keep it around the house so that even when you feel like you want to eat so much, you can remember how you feel because your words are right there. I do this with situations that are upseting me. I'll write out exactly how I'm feeling and why, especially when I'm at my lowest point or at the end of my rope about something... so when I'm feeling like I want to cave in, I can remember how badly I felt or how much something hurt me by reading my own words about it.

For me, it helps me stay strong and it may be an idea to try.

And to respond to the last blog too - focus is SO hard for me sometimes. I can be so so easily distracted, especially when life seems to be going wrong. Like right now, I should be doing a lot of billing for work, but no, I'm checking in on your blog. ;) But I know how it feels to have a thousand thoughts running through your head in less than a minute. I don't think people realize how difficult that can be. If you find out how to stop that from happening, maybe you can help me. ;)

I am the same way with books. I can't tell you how many I've bought that are just laying around - in my car, my house, my office, etc

I think it just cut off my post! WTF! Who invented this Comment field thingy? I'll beat them up! They could at least TELL you if your response won't fit. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Anyway...

The point is, I have all the faith in the world in you. Hang in there honey.

JD

I am glad to see you writing again. Wow, we have so many things in common sometimes. I recently blogged about my wandering mind/stacks of books issue, too.

I just finished writing an article about a woman who had post w/l skin surgery.

And I, too, am having backsliding issues, tho' they are not so much food-related. Addictions are addictions I think, and we seek to numb ourselves with things that are ultimately to our detriment. So the thing is to get to the root of it all: what's making you feel so badly?

Each day is a new day and it is so self destructive to live with continual regret. However as somebody who had made progress, too, the backslides can be hard to take.

I'm over here -- left of center off of the strip -- cheering you on, Tommy.

Hey Tommy ~ Start journaling. Post it where you can see it. Remember you are only human. Deep breath and and re-group your thoughts. I know it isn't easy. Life has a way of beating us up. But you are a very STRONG person. Draw from that inner strength. Do not be afraid to call on him to help you through this time. You will come through this ok. Prayers are heading your way. Hugs ~ Ann :)

Hi Babe!
I signed on to get encouragement from you today. Been there, done that! You know that. Only it was the damn nutter butters that got me this time. OK we slipped... swe we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and GET GOING once again. I'm so proud of you and all that you have accomplished. I know that this is so difficult but trust that you will get thru this. I trust you, I know you can do this. I wish you the strenghth that you need right now to get thru this. Taker easy!

Hi Tommy, I probably can relate better than most people. Eating and cheating must be similar to being on drugs. You know its wrong the whole time you are doing it, but it feels so right while you are doing it. I just keep looking at old pictures of myself and I keep thinking of all the nice things people say to me that make it all worth trying. I'm not saying that it's easy, I fall off track, feel like crap, get mad at myself, wash, rinse, repeat.... This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, yet it's the most rewarding thing as well. It's like riding a bike..the minute you stop pedaling you're bound to fall. We can do it. We're guitarists for God's sake!!:)

Tommy - look to your support system brother. We are all here for you. You are not alone. I think the posting ideas are great ones. Keep the faith you have come so far.:)

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